One of the most common challenges that new moms are facing is figuring out how to do something they've never done before.
And often they are doing it alone and without being able to truly listen to themselves because of the many messages they've received about what motherhood should look like.
For me, the answer is not necessarily shutting down the phone and getting out for a brisk walk. (Though that's not a bad idea.) It's not even about ignoring all the messages and charging forward. Though sometimes it's a fine idea to tune others out.
What I have learned about the challenge that any new parents face while they are busy "making home" for their baby on the outside; is that there is an enormous and integral home unpacking inside in their hearts and their minds.
“Home is a place we all must find, child. It’s not just a place where you eat or sleep. Home is knowing … knowing your mind, knowing your heart, knowing your courage. If we know ourselves, we’re always home, anywhere.” — Glinda, the good witch.
But how do I KNOW?
Is patience a form knowing? Is that ok? To not know and be patient until I know?
Where is home?
And what if I don't want to be courageous today? Is that acceptable?
Can't I just click my heels or something?
I see new mothers in my practice. Everything is completely in a space of shifting for them. They have already labored and brought a baby into the world, so yeah, there's that. And now they are faced with making new shifts in their life, negotiating sleep vs. food vs. a shower vs. living out the vision they had for their lives and their families. And everything feels like a should, a question, and a doubt.
And as much as I'd like a session to be a quick fix in helping them through this transformative period...I know the truth is each new mother has all they need within them - my hands and heart are simply there as a holding space.
And knowing what I know now, I've got a few other insights about this journey. In order for any person to find their own inner knowing, they must touch upon some important things first:
Finding Inner Knowing
1. Invite COMPASSION to one's self.
When I look at that word, "Compassion." I can see two words "Compass" and "Passion." A compass is an instrument that shows you where you are going. To have passion is to have capacity of strength and enthusiasm. Compassion to me means opening one's heart and extending a sense of intentional care.
Putting it all together may simply look like caring a whole bunch about where you are right now.
The first step in any compassion practice is to notice where you are. A second step could be noticing your breath.
A real compassionate act to yourself may be washing your own face, caring to wipe from your inner eye and out, your forehead, around your cheekbones, your mouth, your nose.
Give every facial part attention. It's simple but try it and see how it feels.
2. Seek support from others.
But didn't this whole blog post mean that inner knowing comes from within? Well, why this #2 suggestion then?
Because if you are struggling, seeking support from others is automatic inner knowing.
We really can't be a self without others.
Get asking until you find the right people to support you.
(Note: I didn't say find others who will fix you! Just those who will support you.)
3. Set up daily reminders to do simple acts of growth.
Babies are constantly practicing their new vocalizations and moves before they reach a new development milestone. It happens quick but not in one night.
So why should we adults expect perfect things the first time?
Set up a daily time in your day that is dedicated to do what you need to grow. Do it. Grow.
Finding home is a worthwhile adventure. I'm here to support you.
Peace from The Moon and Back,
Amy Lee Czadzeck
Every Constellation Blog is Inspired By A Writing Prompt to Connect Me to Write Words that are hopefully useful and/or inspiring to at least one person out there under this beautiful canopy out there.
Writing is such a wonderful form of connection to Inner Knowing. If you like to write and are interested in writing more and even writing along with me, Use my Writing Prompt below and share your words with me. Of course, if you are blogging, please don't forget to share my link as where you received the inspiration.
Below is the Constellation writing prompt:
Knowing What I Know Now...