Welcome New Moon!
"It is in the Shelter of Each Other that People Live." ~Irish Proverb
This November New Moon, I am making space to dance, to not be invisible or detached in the collective pain, to be the shelter for others, and to receive the sheltering love that my sweet teachers, friends, and family give to me.
For those of you who have experienced miscarriage or infant loss, or have supported someone and find this triggering to talk about and it does not feel safe to continue reading. Simply, delete this or reach out to me.
For those of you have experienced miscarriage or infant loss, or those who have supported others and want to read on, please do.
I hope you are able to receive this November New Moon with your own dreams that move you into the Dark Full Moon with an inner well of knowing of your wisdom and an outer awareness and comfort that nature can bring.
This newsletter is yet again a shift and simply a personal sharing of my application essay I wrote for the Holding Space for Prenatal Loss teacher training this January and February. Simply, this decision came from the unfolding in my meditation practice and work with expectant moms and dear friends. These aspects of life are the greatest teachers, and allow me to follow threads and themes of temperance and courage.
Before you go on to read the essay behind my choice to step into another aspect of this particular focus of work, I want to invite you this New Moon to rift with the idea of what this means to you this November...
"It is in the shelter of each other that people live." ~Irish Proverb
May the transition from autumn's cool winds, to the invitation of a feast this Thanksgiving, to the hearth of your home you make, lead you to a bridge of inner peace and great horizons.
I'm afforded great privilege to learn how to use dreams, knowledge, skills, and lean into my edges and into education in this lifetime and offer that up in a way that hopefully is meaningful in our modern days. I hope to use my privilege to make empowering space to support the collective consciousness when it comes to the world of awareness in birth, breath, and death. Of course, within first, then outwardly.
So like I said, I have recently applied and been warmly accepted into a training for "Holding Space for Pregnancy Loss," my heart is clear in my why I've joined. My brain has doubts that I'm capable to do this. Which of course, is untrue but it's really up to me to find resilience.
Has there been a moment in your life where your heart and brain aren't matching up? What have you done to help find resilience or in sync-ness?
For me, it's through being in nature and writing and sensing.
And this is my why...
Inspiration lives with determination in my desire to apply for the teacher training of Holding Space for Pregnancy Loss.
I live in the foothills of the Adirondacks Mountains. My home is filled with a family I love and is nestled between trees with visiting bears, deer, fox, and turkey. When I remember, which is as often as I can in our modern day to day life, I walk with my self, and my children and husband in our woods. We pause at the creek, the dog sniffs around, my sons play imagined battles and run and jump and shuffle through the fallen branches and gifts of the woods. Together, we acknowledge the wonder of the woods. As each season passes, I grow keenly aware of what it means to live in ease, with peace, in health, and happiness. It ebbs and flows and it ebbs and flows.
At the end of every bodywork session I do, I touch my clients feet and silently say, "May you be happy, healthy, in ease, with peace" - a loving kindness meditation for all encompassing altruism.
To start, my community, where my office is, is a trying to revitalize an old and gone industrialized city; many folks are tending to basic needs. I try not to let this overwhelm me but I look to the spaces where I can touch and serve to make a difference. I've made connections with our local health-community group that offers education through the hospital, a breastfeeding support group, a childbirth educator/L & D nurse, lactation consultant, a private OBGYN in the area, the one doula, the family services right downstairs from me and countless Mamas and their families. I, myself, want to stay in this community to make a difference, slowly and steadily, for the vision to see a better village for our mothers in the local area. Also, I have had the means to travel outside of my area and have had the ability to get to know some of the best greater capital region midwives, experienced doulas, and bodyworkers. I have talked with them, taken classes with/from them, and I am beginning to have a tea and learn event in my space to help us make deeper connection and make conscious space to talk about how we can cultivate compassion for moms and babies and ourselves. They are amazing as most of these birth heroes are. They all want to see good things for the village of mothers in all of upstate New York and beyond. With all that said, I know there is space and a need for this sort of education. I believe in my abilities to translate it to others who can make a greater reach. I trust that the opportunity is now by studying with you.
Secondly, the Holding Space for Pregnancy Loss online training invited me to open up a sense of comfort in communication with my current clients. I've been called at least three times in different forms to support a pregnancy loss since taking the training. One was simply through emails through, how do I support my friend who lost her baby inquiry, the other was a Friday night call from a friend who wanted resources for herself and for her sister-in-law who had a stillbirth, and the other was bodywork client. And though, this is a heartbreaking occurrence, it's transformed the way I wish to be of service for those I come in contact with. This particular client came to me simply for a massage and was contemplating out-loud about what was next and understandably fearful of having another baby after a 20 week loss of her baby. Could she go through it again? I wasn't aware I supported her much, but I could see the value of letting her share what she went through and lend an ear to her situation. A few months ago she wrote to me, "Your presence was so beneficial to both my healing and rebalancing then and my coping with fears through this pregnancy and delivery. I have thought a lot about it as we joyfully welcomed this new baby into the world, and having worked with you and receiving your messages really meant and means a lot. " Those words were accompanied with two photos of her holding her pregnant belly and then her rainbow baby. Yeah, that's enough to know this work is important. And I, acknowledge, for some this isn't always the outcome, whatever the journey; I want to be able to say, "I'm here."
Lastly, and most personally, since the age of 9, then continuing to worsen at the age of 13, I have been severely debilitated physically with menstrual issues and hormonal issues; endometriosis, pelvic congestion, and then because of the body pain, depression and anxiety hit. Doctors would then start telling me I wouldn't bear children or if I did I wouldn't successful being able to carry that baby to term. Two miracles of two healthy sons later and a partner who brings me a heating pad and tea when I'm in pain and many years later of seeking out healing work and education, I understand what gratitude is. I look into the faces of my kids everyday. They know love. I feel that love back.
Peace from here to the Moon and Back,
Amy Lee Czadzeck, LMT, Poet, Mindfulness Facilitator